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Howard: What do you call a disgruntled frankfurter maker?
Suzan: Beats me.
Howard: Someone who doesn’t “relish” his job!

A book never written: “How to Rank Up in Scouting” by Ed Vance.

Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!

Dear Games Guru, I am on this part where Harry has to go through different minigames to save Muggles and stop the Ministry of Magic. I am in Godrics Hallow and Ron left them — it is sooooo hard! Please help!!!

Games Guru: I’m thinking you’re in a place called The Streets of Godrics Hallow. Use your invisible cloak to pass enemies with stealth. Now, go over to the six Muggle Borns to free them. The Streets is an area that rewards you for exploration. Keep that cloak on. Use your potions to deal with multiple enemies. One of the keys is to avoid big battles with a lot of enemies coming at you. That’s why you have that cloak! If you get lost, make a little map of the area in pencil on a pad as you go — so you remember where you’ve been.

Daffynition: Olympiads—Commercials shown during the Summer and Winter Games.

Are there any codes?

Games Guru: Here are the big ones:

– Unlock all modes and tracks:  959595
– Unlock Unlimited energy: 721953

I want to unlock professor z. The game said that I need to get to a skyscraper in Tokyo arena, but where is the skyscraper?

Games Guru: Begin by looking for ramps on your left and right. Use turbo before you hit one of the ramps, and jump once you get to the top. You’ll land on the roof and claim your precious trophy!

Q. I have a 45-degree Lafuma mummy sleeping bag and a 15-degree liner to go with it, so it becomes a 30-degree bag. My dad says I’ll be fine in the cold, but I’m not so sure. It gets pretty cold in the tri-state area. What do you think I should do?
— Worried Russell, Randolph, N.J.

A. I think you should give it a shot. Sleep a couple nights out in your bag and find out if it keeps you warm enough. If you’re worried, pitch a tent in the backyard so you’ll be close to home if you do get totally chilled. That said, here are some ways to stay warm inside your sleeping bag: (1) be sure to use a sleeping pad because that will help insulate you from the cold ground, which will quickly suck heat from your body; (2) consider sleeping in warm clothes, like a set of long underwear and wool socks. Also, wear an insulated stocking cap since you lose lots of body heat from the top of your head. Lastly, keep in mind, the temperature ratings on sleeping bags and liners are just general guidelines. It’s up to you to determine at what temperature you can still sleep comfortably in your sleeping bag.

Long ago, Greek astronomers gazed upon the stars and saw wandering bears, arrogant queens, brave hunters and charging bulls. Today, we call these star patterns “constellations.”

Here’s an easy way to trace your way from one winter constellation to another.

1. In the north winter sky, look for the Big Dipper constellation. It looks like an old well dipper, and is part of Ursa Major, the Great Bear.

2. At the “dipper” end, two stars nicknamed the Pointer Stars form a straight line to Polaris, the North Star. Polaris tips the end of the Little Dipper, also known as Ursa Minor, the Little Bear.

3. From Polaris, draw an imaginary line across the sky to a sideways M constellation recognized as Cassiopeia the Queen.

4. Turn your back to Polaris, and look for three stars in a row. These stars form the belt of Orion the Great Hunter.

5. Trace the belt stars down to the left, or east to the brightest star, Sirius, found in The Great Dog (Canis Major).

6. Trace the belt stars up to the right, or west to a V-shaped constellation, Taurus the Bull.

Jason: Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut?
Will: Beats me.
Jason: He wanted to visit Pluto!

A book never written: “Perfect Peanuts” by Ella Fant.

Zach: What did the dime say to the nickel after it told a bad joke?
Sarah: I don’t know.
Zach: “That didn’t make cents.”

What are the codes for the score multiplayers and invincibility? I can’t get enough studs to buy characters!!!

Games Guru: I’m guessing you mean multipliers. Here are the codes:

Invincibility: QQWC6B
Score x2: 74YKR7
Score x6: XK9ANE
Score x8: HUFV2H
Score x10: H8X69Y

Gavin: What do you call a tired skeleton?
Connor: Beats me.
Gavin: The “grim sleeper.”

Hayden: Knock, knock.
Chris: Who’s there?
Hayden: Ken.
Chris: Ken, who?
Hayden: Ken you just open the door, please?

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Q. When I get a new traditional lock-blade knife, it often messes up within the first hour. When I close it, the blade flips in and out and will not completely shut. Why isn’t it working?
— Bad Knife Jacob, Clinton, N.C.

A. Without seeing your knife first-hand it’s tough for me to say what’s wrong with it. My guess is that the knife itself wasn’t all that well-made in the first place. I understand that price is usually a concern for most of us, that’s why I’m happy there are knives out there like the SOG AutoClip Mini [$23; sogknives.com]. I’ve field-tested this simple, affordable lock-back knife with its 2.86-inch stainless-steel blade for months and can say it’s well-made and works perfectly. You can also find several other affordable lock-back options from Buck Knives and Gerber. Good luck!

What was Electronic Arts thinking? We’re deep into basketball and hockey season, so it seems like a weird time to be releasing a football game like NFL Blitz.

NFL BLITZ
EA for Xbox Live Arcade, PlayStation Network; Rated E10+ for Everyone 10 and Older.

Gameplay: 8.5
Graphics: 7.0
Sound: 9.0
Replay Value: 8.3
Overall Score: 8.3

Pros: Over-the-top gaming, strong online mode, players catch fire.

Cons: Graphics are on the weak side, needs bigger playbook, “hard mode” isn’t difficult enough.

But football isn’t quite over: The Super Bowl is right around the corner.

So the time might be right for this truly over-the-top arcade game.

NFL Blitz is a cartoon-ish, downloadable tidbit featuring crushing hits on defense and amazing 50-yard throws. Add the sometimes-hilarious comments from the color guys in the booth and strong online play. The result is a game that’s really hard to put down.

If Madden is the lengthy mega-meal for fans of sports videogames, NFL Blitz is the quick dessert. You don’t have many plays to choose from, just 9 on defense and 17 on offense. There’s no create-a-player. There’s no draft. There are only 7 players on each side of field.

WHAT YOU GET

But what you get (as you do with NBA Jam) are wacky players that get so hot when you’re on a roll, they give off flames. You’ll play the Blitz Gauntlet, a ladder of teams, over and over until you play all NFL clubs. And you’ll encounter some surprises. These include some fantasy squads – bosses like gladiators, peg-leg pirates and smiling hot dogs in a bun.

I find that playing on Hard Mode is the best way to go after getting your feet wet on Easy Mode. Otherwise, there’s very little challenge. After you defeat the fantasy teams mentioned above, you can play as them, too. Just key in their special codes at the beginning of each game.

On offense, winning is often about looking down the field to find an open player and pressing buttons to throw the ball at the right time. But there is some wiggle room as far as creativity during plays goes. On offense, you can leap high over the pack or spin like a dervish. You can even give the tackler the stiff arm. With a satisfying “ding,” down he goes. His bell has been rung!

The comedic announcers are also essential to the kooky mayhem. Sometimes they wish they were more famous so they could be in a bigger game like Madden. Sometimes they say silly things like “in the end zone like a mobile phone!” They seem to like corn dogs a lot, too. And they get as excited as fans. You never see them, but you imagine they’re shaking with glee as they call the action on the field.

ONLINE WITH BLITZ BUCKS

The makers of NFL Blitz really want you to play online, so they’re offering Blitz Bucks to entice you. Win online and you’re rewarded with fake money that helps you get cool things like Big Head Mode when you play. Plus, you get Blitz Bucks if you’re the player who presses the taunt buttons the most.

Blitz Bucks are also essential for creating your Blitz Elite League. These card packs full of players require strategizing if you want a balanced team. Or you might choose to buy some powerups like an Earthquake, which shakes the field, possibly causing a fumble.

I’ve rarely had as much quick fun online with a sports game than I’ve had with NFL Blitz. While there’s the occasional lag during plays, I quickly was matched up with three other people to play in co-op mode, two for each team. Whoever my partner was, he knew the game as well as I did.

Yet the real key is on defense. Take control of a player and constantly try to sack the opposing quarterback. The same goes for blocking a punt or a field goal. That’s the way to winning online – and offline, too. Also, you can try to time your interceptions. The game makers say that if you’re near the ball and press the top controller button at either one-third, one-half or two-thirds of a second after a pass, your defenseman will catch the quarterback’s throw. That’s hard to time, so just try for an interception without thinking too hard about it.

THE BAD AND THE GOOD

There are things that I don’t like, however. Every player seems to have the same physical attributes, so they look nothing like the real-life players. So quarterback Eli Manning looks just as muscular as defenseman Justin Tuck. And while they often throw tantrums, when you check out their faces, there’s no emotion whatsoever.

Still, the old NFL Blitz used to sell for around $40 when you bought it in the store. The downloadable version is about $15. It’s completely worth the price of admission for access to one of the more clownish, cartoon-ish, generally super-fun games out there today.

Del: What kind of tree is famous for playing rock and roll?
John: I haven’t a clue.
Del: Spruce Springsteen!

As high-tech gadgets like smart phones, digital cameras, and GPS devices continue to find their way into the outdoors, we have to find ways to protect them. One of the best, and most affordable options is the Pelican 1020 Micro Case ($12; pelican.com). This rugged, little snap-to-close plastic box is water resistant, dustproof and crushproof and would easily fit a digital camera or GPS. Inside is a rubber liner that provides extra padding and creates a watertight seal. Although the Micro Case is not designed to be taken underwater, it’s strong, durable and watertight enough to protect your gear from just about anything the outdoors can throw at you. It also comes with a carabiner and is available in seven sizes to fit all kinds of electronics.

A book never written: “Underwater Spying” by Paris Scope.