Scout Jokes

An old man was talking to his neighbor. “I just bought a new hearing aid,” he says. “It cost me $4,000, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
“Really,” his neighbor says. “What kind is it?”
“Twelve thirty,” the old man says.

A book never written: “How to Get Your Way” by Dick Tate.

Pedro: Why did the chipmunk go to space?
Boss: I don’t know.
Pedro: To find an astro-nut!

Daffynition: Illegal—A sick bird.

Stephan: Did you hear about the two guys who froze at a drive-in movie?
Daniel: No. What happened?
Stephan: They had gone to see “Closed for Winter”!

A book never written: “How to Cross the Street” by A.J. Walker.

Gregory: What instrument did the Egyptians play while writing hieroglyphics?
Joshua: I don’t know.
Gregory: The cymbals!

Ben: What should you never feed a computer?
Adam: I’m stumped.
Ben: Spam!

A book never written: “Tropical Getaways” by Sandy Beech.

Bob: Where are French fries born?
Rob: Where?
Bob: Greece!

Joe: How much does deer meat cost?
Roy: Tell me.
Joe: A buck or two!

A book never written: “Tropical Getaways” by Sandy Beech.

Ian: What did the teacher say when the chicken got all its work right?
Daddy: What?
Ian: “Eggs-ellent!”

A book never written: “Complete Idiot’s Guide to GPS” by Miss Leading.

Chase: What do cows do on a Friday night?
Cordell: I don’t know. What?
Chase: They go to the mooooovies!

A book never written: “It’s a Dog’s Life” by Barry A. Bone.

Bob: What do you call an evil procrastinator?
Rob: Beats me.
Bob: Darth Later!

Tom Swiftie: “Home, home on the range …” Tom sang plainly.

Ian: I got fired from the M&M factory.
Hayden: Why?
Ian: I kept throwing out all the W’s.

A book never written: “Lion Taming” by Claude Face.