Scout Jokes

Howard: What do you call a disgruntled frankfurter maker?
Suzan: Beats me.
Howard: Someone who doesn’t “relish” his job!

A book never written: “How to Rank Up in Scouting” by Ed Vance.

Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!

Daffynition: Olympiads—Commercials shown during the Summer and Winter Games.

Jason: Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut?
Will: Beats me.
Jason: He wanted to visit Pluto!

A book never written: “Perfect Peanuts” by Ella Fant.

Zach: What did the dime say to the nickel after it told a bad joke?
Sarah: I don’t know.
Zach: “That didn’t make cents.”

Gavin: What do you call a tired skeleton?
Connor: Beats me.
Gavin: The “grim sleeper.”

Hayden: Knock, knock.
Chris: Who’s there?
Hayden: Ken.
Chris: Ken, who?
Hayden: Ken you just open the door, please?

Del: What kind of tree is famous for playing rock and roll?
John: I haven’t a clue.
Del: Spruce Springsteen!

A book never written: “Underwater Spying” by Paris Scope.

Stephen: Why did the penguin cross the road?
Brad: Beats me.
Stephen: It just wanted to go with the floe!

Luke: Why did the bee go to the hospital?
Jake: I give up.
Luke: Because it had hives!

A book never written: “Live News” by Justin Now.

Robert: What period of music was the poorest?
Michael: Tell me.
Robert: The Baroque period!

Daffynition: Forum—What you are when you’re not against ’um.

Mom: Son, you need to wear a longsleeved shirt today.
Nate: No, I’m wearing short sleeves. I have Second Amendment rights.
Mom: What are you talking about?
Nate: You know, the right to bare arms!

A book never written: “How to Check a Pulse” by Izzy Dead.

Tom: How do rodeo cowboys become rich?
Bill: You stumped me.
Tom: Their horses always give them a buck or two.

Dan: What is a millipede’s least favorite activity?
Bob: I don’t know.
Dan: Buying new shoes.