Scout Jokes

Warped Wiseman wonders: “If cows laughed, would milk come out of their noses?”

Chris: What do you get when you cross a parrot and an elephant?
Pedro: Beats me.
Chris: Something a pirate doesn’t want sitting on his shoulder!

A book never written: “How to Stay Caught Up in School” by Indy Tention.

Bill: What is the capital of Alaska?
Joe: Juneau.
Bill: I don’t. That’s why I’m asking you!

Luke: What kind of songs do the planets sing?
Mark: Tell me.
Luke: Nep-tunes!

A book never written: “Different Kinds of Salad” by Cole Slaw.

Warren: What gets older every time it rings?
Curtis: I don’t know. What?
Warren: A tree!

Teacher: Henry, what is a flood?
Henry: It’s a river that grows too big for its bridges.

A book never written: “Learn Karate” by Marshall Artz.

Chad: What’s Moby Dick’s favorite dinner?
Brad: Tell me.
Chad: Fish ’n’ ships!

Rob: What do you call a rock star who owns a towing company?
Russ: What?
Rob: “Van-Haulin!”

A book never written: “The Result of Frostbite” by Miss Inatoe.

Josh: Did you hear about the scientist who tried to breed a cow that could give twice as much milk?
Joe: No. What happened?
Josh: It was an udder failure!

A book never written: “The History of Quasimodo” by Abel Ringer.

Steve: What do you get when you cross a gift-wrapper with an archer?
Cy: Tell me.
Steve: Ribbon hood!

Daffynition: Ketchup—What you do if you’re losing.

Emir: What did the alien say to the librarian?
Emily: What?
Emir: “Take me to your reader!”

Matthew: How do baseball players keep in touch?
Connor: I don’t know. How?
Matthew: They touch base every once in a while.

Tom Swiftie: “Look at that laser!” Tom beamed.

Max: What kind of shark kills its prey with words?
Michael: Beats me.
Max: A yammer-head!